Every once in a while, it’s good to check in with ourselves; remind ourselves why we do what we do. Pickleball is no exception.

In this article, we will examine the “why” of your pickleball. We’ll then use our answer as a sort of grounding rod: keeping us focused on what matters to us while avoiding needless negative side paths.

The US Open

I was reminded of my why this week as I head down to the US Open to compete in it for my 10th time. I was fortunate enough to play in the inaugural US Open in 2016, less than a year after I started playing pickleball. My friend Tom DeCaprio suggested we play in the Open division and why not?

Though our results were – expectedly – not stellar that year, it was a great experience for us both and it really set the hook for our continuing participation in this sport. To this day, pickleball remains a significant part of both Tom and my personal and professional lives.

This year, however, I go to the US Open as a different player and person. As a player I understand the game much better than I did in 2016. And my shots are better too.

But my reasons for going have come full circle: back to the beginning. In 2016, we registered primarily to see what it was all about and be a part of the excitement. In subsequent years, I went as a tournament contestant. Trying to do my best against the best players in the country.

This year, I am back to going to the tournament for the experience. To see friends. Enjoy as many games as I can. Camaraderie and excitement are more important to me than the result.

I will give it my all while there. Leave it on the court, as they say. But I now have a better sense of my place within the sport and the respect that is due my opponents – many of whom will have put in hours of drilling and practice before this tournament.

Before committing to play this event, I made sure to have clarity with my partner: we are there to enjoy the moment. Whatever the results are.

And this is now my “why” in pickleball. I enjoy being on court with people I want to play with, batting the ball around. Winning sometimes and losing other times. Trying to do my best but being ok when I fall short.

What’s your “why”?

That’s my story. Now it’s your turn.

Why do you play pickleball? More specifically, the last two or three times you have done to the courts, what was it you were looking for?

Take a moment and write it down somewhere. It’s worth the break in reading.

PAUSE TIME FOR YOU.

I have asked this question to thousands of players (literally). The answers I have heard range from fun to exercise. Community to growth. Competition to social.

The answer I never get back is “I go to the pickleball courts to win games.” Think of how reductive that would be: you would be travelling to the courts simply to get to 11 points before your opponents do. That’s it? All you want that day?

The actual answers we hear from you reflect the real depth that you seek from pickleball. The friendships. Getting out of the house to do something constructive and good for your health. The mental stimulation and growth.

And this deeper interaction with the sport is your “why.”

Why knowing your “why” matters

Once you have your “why” you’re able to put it to work for you. You will use it positively, to remind you of the good. And you will use it negatively, to protect you from the bad.

First, the good. As I have gotten older and, I would submit, wiser, I have realized that a lot of our lives is not just what happens to us, but how we interpret it.

Chances are that right now you could step outside your door – or walk a few steps – and see a flower. Even if a small one at the end of a “weed.” But a flower nonetheless.

The flower is there. Whether you wish to see it or no. It is your choice, then, to see the flower.

It’s the same with your pickleball. Sure, there are going to be things you wish went different that day. Maybe you lost a game you wanted to win. Or you missed that shot you always seem to miss (which is just in your mind – but that’s a topic for another day).

But there’s also a flower there; if you want to see it. And this is where your “why” shines.

I am heading to the US Open to:

• See fellow Senior Pro players who I do not get to see on the regular.
• Chat with students and players I have met throughout the years.
• Play some fun pickleball against amazing competition.
• Get on the court with my friend, Jeff Burton.
• Enjoy the excitement and energy that comes from a big tournament like the US Open.

These are my “whys” for this week. Knowing what they are allows me to look for them. And celebrate them. When I, almost invariably, lose a match (only one team will not lose a match so the odds are stacked against each team not to lose at least 1 match), I will not be distracted by the loss. Because the win/loss is NOT among my “why.”

You can do the same thing. If your “why” is to see your friend Janet or your friend David, then when you see them, you are good to go. Knowing that is your reason allows you to see the flower and be grateful for it.

Avoiding the negative

Knowing your “why” also helps you avoid the negative. When you lose – which you almost certainly will – you aren’t derailed.

You do not have to be happy about the loss. But the loss is not your “why.” The loss is just a feature of the moment – like it’s extra sunny or a bit overcast. Or David is wearing that funky shirt.

The same way you might prefer sunny to overcast, you can prefer wins to losses. They are not definitional, though.

Take a few minutes after finishing this article and work through the process:

1. Why do you play pickleball?
2. Could you do more to remind yourself of the good when you play? More specifically, that your “why” has been met.
3. Does losing (and winning) take on an outsized importance relative to your “why”? Let’s give the result the same level of importance as the weather or your friend’s choice of outfit for the day. Relevant but not that important in the end.

Extra Coaching Tip: If helpful, write your “why” down on a piece of tape and put it on the edge of your paddle. Easy to remember then.

If you enjoy this way of approaching the game you love, give the podcast Pickleball Therapy a try. It’s what we do over there. Available everywhere there are podcasts.